


i know i don't know you, but i want you so bad

by moeexyz



Category: Social Network (2010) RPF
Genre: M/M, Strippers & Strip Clubs, stripper!Andrew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 13:05:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12458391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moeexyz/pseuds/moeexyz
Summary: Jesse feels uncomfortable. It's not a new feeling because he feels uncomfortable pretty much everywhere, but in a way it is a new feeling because it's the first time he's ever felt uncomfortable in a strip-club.From a prompt in the TSN kink meme on LJ. Originally uploaded in 2012.





	i know i don't know you, but i want you so bad

**Author's Note:**

> This is my greatest creation. Shout out to that one person who made their url eyecandyandy on tumblr years ago. I see u friend.

Jesse feels uncomfortable. It's not a new feeling because he feels uncomfortable pretty much everywhere, but in a way it is a new feeling because it's the first time he's ever felt uncomfortable in a strip-club.

This is all Emma's fault. Jesse sort of hates her right now, except she ran off somewhere with a striper giggling about his perfectly sculpted abs, so she doesn't know that yet.

He doesn't even mind the strip-club. He's human, okay? He can appreciate a good-looking, naked, glittery body as much as the next person; it's just that now he's alone at a strip-club, and that feels creepy.

He has a pile of unused dollar bills in front of him that Emma gave him to hold on to, and he's looking around frantically for her stupid red hair so that he can grab her and get out, when the speakers announce that _it's the moment you've all been waiting for! Eye-Candy Andy!_

Some really erotic song – that sounds suspiciously like _bow chicka wow wow_ over and over again – starts playing, and out comes Eye-Candy Andy. 

Jesse's still scanning the room for Emma's head so he doesn't pay attention at first, but then Eye-Candy Andy walks down to the very front of the stage, right where Jesse's sitting, and it's sort of impossible not to notice him. He's hot – _'duh, Jesse. He's a stripper!'_ says his brain – but not in the sleazy way Jesse expects strippers to be, which he admits is a little judgmental on his part.

But that's as far as his brain can get with coherent thoughts, because Eye-Candy Andy starts dancing. No, that's inaccurate; he starts thrusting, but, like, in a dance-y way. The porn music gets louder, and Eye-Candy Andy starts to take his shirt off. Jesse's throat closes up, and he turns to fully face the stage, completely forgetting his earlier quest for Emma.

Andy catches his eye, and smiles down at him. Jesse chokes on nothing. He has no idea how to react, so he keeps staring up at Andy in amazement. His brain is going _asdfghjkl;_ and his blood is rushing south faster than he knew was possible.

Andy does this seductive little twirl thing. When he faces the front again he rips off his pants in one swift motion. Jesse is not prepared for that.

Andy is wearing tight, black speedos, which seem to be the only thing Jesse can focus on right now. He feels like he's being really inappropriate – even though Andy's job is to be objectified in tiny underwear that leaves nothing to the imagination – but he doesn't feel inappropriate enough to stop gawking. Instead, his hands reach for the untouched dollar bills in front of him, to hold one up.

Andy grins. He dances a little closer to Jesse, which only makes Jesse fidget more. Jesse doesn't understand why Andy won't just take the money, until he realizes he wants Jesse to give it to him. Which means Jesse will have to stick it in those speedos.

Jesse wonders how rude it would be to just throw the money at him and hide in the bathroom, except that there's no way he's going to do that. He is not going to miss a second of this show. He swallows away the dryness in his throat and sticks the dollar in Andy's waistband.

Andy gives him a smile that's both dirty and earnest. Jesse didn't know that was even possible, but there you go. He's close enough to touch, except that's probably against the rules so Jesse restrains himself. He's aware that later, when he's alone in his apartment with his cats locked out of his bedroom for once, he is going to fantasize about touching. It's not often he meets some one who he knows he's going to fantasize about later, but Andy's dancing like, well, like a stripper, and it is _doing things_ to Jesse.

Andy starts to gyrate away from Jesse. He wants to protest or something, except that he's reminded by the cheering around him that the show isn't just for him. He feels a sudden pang of jealousy which almost makes him laugh. This is a stripper! This guy's paycheck is made out to _Eye-Candy Andy,_ and Jesse barely knows him. He has no reason to feel possessive.

Except he does. And Andy's moving away to a gang of women out on a bachelorette party. In a moment of desperation he grabs half the bills and starts flailing them around in the air. It works. Andy quirks an eyebrow at him, like he's surprised that Jesse's so involved in his routine, then smiles that bizarre smile and moves back towards Jesse.

He slows down a little so Jesse can stick the bills in his ridiculously tight underwear. Jesse fumbles slightly, which makes him smile even more. He meets Jesse's eyes, and his heart starts to speed up. He swallows at the way Andy bites his lip. He notices the little things about Andy, like how his eyes crinkle when he smiles. That's probably not what people focus on when they go to see strippers, but Jesse never was that normal anyway.

He finally manages to stick a few more bills in Andy's pants. Andy winks and starts to move away again. Jesse makes a sound to protest, but it's drowned out by the music and the cheering getting louder. Why is the cheering getting louder?

And then the curtains behind Andy pull away to reveal a shiny mental pole behind him. Jesse's eyes widen. Andy catches his eye again. There's an amused sparkle in them. Jesse starts to feel like the show is becoming less for the crowd and more for him. Not that he has any complaints.

Andy grabs the pole with his hand and starts to spin around. He does it a couple of times before securing his leg around it, then the routine gets complicated. He starts to contort himself around it, moving in slow fluid motions. He does things that Jesse wasn't aware the human body could do. He twists, and turns, and grinds on the pole like it's an extension of himself.

Every now and again, he catches Jesse's eye. The people sitting around Jesse scream drunkenly and throw money onto the stage. Jesse just stares, mesmerized.

Andy does one final, impressive spin on the pole before stepping off and dancing forward. He expertly moves his hips around in a few final moves, and a couple of glitter cannons go off behind him. Pink and purple glitter fly all over Andy's body, and some of it even lands on Jesse. Andy finally stops his dancing. He grins at the crowd and bows, as people all around the club scream. He picks up his discarded clothes and some flyaway bills, before exiting the stage.

Jesse just stares at the empty stage. Some guys start sweeping the glitter away and the speakers announce that Rowdy Rob is coming up next.

“There you are!” Emma's voice exclaims from behind him. She takes the empty seat beside him and her eyes widen at his half empty pile of money. “Whoa there! Some one enjoyed the show.” She smirks. Jesse's reminded that he temporarily hates her.

“Can we go?” He asks.

“You sure you don't wanna wait for Rowdy Rob. You still have some cash left.”

Jesse stands up and starts wiping the glitter off himself.

“Who knows,” Emma continues. “Maybe he'll even give you a lapdance.”

“I'm leaving now,” Jesse announces and starts to walk away.

“I'm your ride!” Emma calls after him, but he ignores her. He'll stand outside for ten minutes waiting for her, and she'll wait inside for ten minutes just so he won't win, but in the end he's more stubborn than she is so she'll eventually cave. This isn't the first time they've gotten into one of these situations.

Outside is cold. Jesse only notices because he feels very hot. The lasting effects of Eye-Candy Andy, apparently.

He stands outside and leans against the back wall, sticking his hands in his pocket. He wishes he'd brought a book to read while he waited for Emma, but he didn't bring one because he didn't want any of his books to be defiled by glitter.

He looks around, hoping he doesn't look too shady, hanging around outside a strip-club. He nods to the bouncer who simply gives him a disdainful look.

He hears the sound of a rusty door, and looks around the corner to see some one stepping out the back door. He can't see who it is because of the shadows.

“Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow!” The person says in a British accent, and starts walking up.

When he rounds the corner the light finally reveals Andy, carrying a duffel bag. He's in a warm winter coat, and Jesse can see a blue t-shirt under it, and remains of glitter lost in his gravity-defying hair.

Andy raises his eyebrows when he sees Jesse.

“Hello?”

“Hi,” Jesse says in reply.

They stare each other down for a second, before Jesse realizes how creepy he must seem.

“I'm not waiting for you!” He says quickly. “My friend, she's, uh … coming.”

“Okay,” Andy nods. He gives Jesse a sort of half-smile, but doesn't walk away. Instead, he bites his lip and gives Jesse a once-over. It seems a lot more innocent without the porn soundtrack, but still just as exhilarating under the neon sign of the club.

“Enjoy the show?” Andy finally asks.

“Yes. I. Um. Yes. You were- you were adequate.”

Andy smiles. It's a genuine smile, not one he puts on while he dances and peels his clothes away. “Only adequate? I made quite a few tips from you, you know.”

Jesse doesn't answer.

“I mean, thanks,” Andy says with amusement.

“Sure,” Jesse replies.

Andy still doesn't move away. “So how come you stopped by the show tonight? You don't really look the type.”

“My friend dragged me,” Jesse says nodding to the door. “Not him,” He adds when he realizes it seems like he's nodding to the bouncer.

Andy chuckles. “No, Jim doesn't like taking his friends on work outings, do you Jim?”

The bouncer simply blinks in response.

“Chatty,” Jesse quips.

Andy laughs. “Well I'm glad you enjoyed the show,” He says, and starts to move away.

Jesse fees that earlier possessiveness kick in again, which is ridiculous because there's no one else there except Jim the bouncer, and he's not making any moves towards Andy.

“Wait!” Jesse calls out, and Andy turns.

“I, um. It's a really good show. I might come back.”

Andy gives him a sly smile. “I hope you're not just doing that to see me again,” He says. Jesse feels a stab of disappointment but Andy continues. “Because it's an awful lot of money to spend when you could just as for my number.”

Jesse clears his throat. “Yeah- Yes. I would like that, very much. Thank you.”

Andy grins like he finds Jesse adorable. He fishes in his pockets for a pen, then writes his number on the back of Jesse's hand. He writes _Andrew :)_ above it.

“Andrew,” Jesse read out loud.

“Stranger who gives great tips,” Andrew replies.

“Jesse,” Jesse tells him.

Andrew gives him a bright smile, that warms his insides. “Jesse,” He repeats. He says it in a whisper that makes Jesse's heart quicken. “Nice meeting you, Jesse.”

“You too.”

Andrew smiles again, like that's the only expression his face has, then leans in and gives Jesse a soft kiss on the corner of his lips. “I'll be expecting a call, Jesse,” He whispers. “Who knows, maybe you can even get yourself a private show.”

Jesse clears his throat nervously, and Andrew grins again.

“Bye,” He calls out as he walks backwards away from Jesse. He doesn't turn to look where he's going until he reaches the end of the half-empty parking lot. He gives Jesse a wave, before turning in to a crappy car and throwing his bag in the back seat.

“Ugh, fine! We can go!” Jesse hears Emma's voice say as Andrew's car drives away. “What is that?”

Jesse turns to face her. She's staring accusingly at the digits on his hand. He tries to shove it in his pocket, but she has reflexes like a puma. She smirks at him.

“Jesse Adam Eisenberg, you little minx! Did you score a strippers number?”

Jesse forces his hand away. “I want to go home.”

“Jim, did he get a strippers number?” She asks the bouncer.

Jim nods.

“Do you live here or something?” Jesse shoots at her, but it's too late. She's already grinning.

“Wow, you got game bro,” She says in a frat boy voice. “I'm so proud.” She ruffles his hair, and pink and purple glitter fall out.

“Shut up,” Jesse snaps, but he smiles at the lingering feeling of Andrew's lips on his skin.


End file.
